So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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