To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Soap is not a condiment
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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