I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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