Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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