Are we in a gay sports bar?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
