Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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