She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
