are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
