Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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