did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
