she was so not down for the gang bang
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
