If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
