question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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