So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
