He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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