I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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