how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i came on her dog
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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