She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
