some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize