well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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