you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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