you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
