normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize