so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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