the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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