i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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