He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
