yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
