I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will pee on everything he values.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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