you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize