I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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