he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
