I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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