btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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