How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
