I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
