Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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