so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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