Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
