just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
