I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
