i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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