the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
