I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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