no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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