Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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