She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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