he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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