i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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