Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
