Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
