If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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