I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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