apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
