The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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