If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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