Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
